Well, I'm pleased to say I have won the EuroMillions this week. It's clearly me as Camelot have carefully and considerately changed the numbers they have published to fake ones so as to keep my identity and my winning numbers a secret. Isn't that kind of them?
Actually, you may have guessed it wasn't really me. However, how are we going to find out who it was when Camelot's phone lines can no longer be tapped by the NoTW?
I would really like to move to the Caribbean as I'm a little fed up with our British weather. Apparently some expert this morning has stated that we are not going to have any summer this year. Don't clap yourself too hard Einstein, even my 2 year old daughter has worked that out and is looking at holiday brochures as we speak! She looks out of the window every morning and gives me a far more accurate forecast than you get on TV. Perhaps the Met Office would like to borrow her (for a healthy fee)?
I'm sure when I was a child we played outside for the whole of the summer holidays in glorious sunshine, eating ice cream and having picnics on a regular basis. We went to Devon for our holiday in a caravan and the sun shone. We went to friends houses to meet up and play and the sun shone. It never rained. We never carried a pak-a-mac and umbrella everywhere we went. Cardigans were for October onwards. Wagon wheels were 5 times the size they are now and you could buy a whole sweet shop for tuppence.....