Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Do 2nd/subsequent children miss out? No way!

I saw this smashing blog article today about whether a 2nd child misses out (article).  It made me start to think about my girls.

I have 3 girls J(13), S(3 1/2) and N(17 mths).  Clearly, having S so long after J, was like having a first baby all over again so yes, I read every book, checked every developmental stage of both the pregnancy and when she was beginning to grow up. She was weighed every week because the HV was worried that she wasn't putting on enough weight as she had terrible reflux (I was breastfeeding) and was suggesting I may *have* to give her formula to help her along.  She finally 'caught up' and then, low and behold, once I started weaning her, I was told she was putting on TOO MUCH weight.  I stopped getting her weighed and only went again when she was 2 to put it into her little red book.

I watched over S like a hawk and spent hours playing with her and, would you believe, watching her sleep!

When N was born, we had her weighed twice at the clinic. The HV said she was putting on too much weight and I should watch what I was feeding her. I was exclusively breastfeeding.  I never went back. I weigh her at home every now and then. She's fine.  Yes, we still watched her sleep, on occasion, as we were busy with S who was 2 then as well.  No, we don't check developmental milestones as I have come to the conclusion that children all learn in their own time.  They all get there in the end but some do it a different way.  For example, S loved fine motor skill activities even from a very small baby (building blocks, picking up tiny objects and studying them) whereas N just bashes and smashes everything in sight. She's only just learning to build a tower.  Does it bother me? Not a jot!

N is a full 'hand-me-down' baby.  She has a wardrobe of clothes, cot, bedding and some toys from S.  Don't get me wrong, we have bought her plenty of things but we kept so much from S that was in such good condition, it was pointless buying more.  She had all of the activity toys too - Jumparoo, swing seat, bouncing chair.  It was very sad when we finally sold those things.

No, we don't spend every minute of the day playing with N (as you can see by the fact I'm on here) but we do have time alone with her when S is at nursery.  Occasionally we get to do a few other things with N too like swimming.  Most of the time the activites are for S as she's older and they both swim with us but every now and then, N gets some pure 'me' time with us :)

She is a happy girl. She seems to be picking up language skills at a fast rate now, she adores her big sisters and S is her role model. She loves to play with S more than anything else and often cries when S goes into nursery.  S adores her too. They are best friends.

So, do 2nd or subsequent children miss out?  I don't think so for a second!

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