I have been feeling quite 'lumpy'. Yes, lumpy. That describes it well. I have lumps. They tend to be around my waist, thighs and man my butt looks more like that of Jo Lo's every day (I wish). Anyway, I decided to try and diet. Argh! The very word makes me feel hungry. I joined Slimming World online. Should have known that wouldn't work. I paid my £60 for 3 months membership, bought a couple of books, cooked a couple of meals and....yes, gave up. You see I struggle to manage on a flat teaspoon of Clover daily as I like a piece of toast or some in my baked beans. I am happy substituting fry light for vegetable oil and even hubby is now using it when he cooks (that has to be good right?) but I found the rest of it quite hard work.
I'm not a bad eater. We have lots of fresh veg, chicken (mostly), lamb (sometimes), beef (occasionally) and the odd fish finger (yeah, I know, I'm rubbish with fish). We eat fruit and yoghurts and the girls and I drink lots of sugar free squashes. So what was going wrong? Snacking. God damn it, those blasted biscuits really do shout loudly when I'm watching TV relaxing on the sofa in the evenings. How dare they. I've tried ear-plugs but to no avail.
As I became a bit more lumpy, I started to weigh myself. My weight could fluctuate a whole 3-4lbs over night. What? Was I sleep-snacking? How is that even possible? My weight resembled a yo-yo although going up more than down at times...you know, when the string all gets tangled up. I digress...
I got to the "too heavy for my liking" point. It seemed no matter how little I ate during the day, my weight didn't budge. Seemed a diet was the only option but sod it, that's not worked either.
My hubby works funny hours so getting to the gym just isn’t possible for me so all my exercise has to be at home (Zumba and Just Dance) or the occasional cycle out in the day when the girls are at school. I think I need stabilisers again though. My poor bum too after my first ride. Blasted racing bike seats. I've just bought a gel one for next time as I looked like John Wayne for about a week afterwards!
I used to be content and very happy with who I was as a person. Sadly for me, I once lost a lot of weight (a serious lot-ness). I felt great then with my bones sticking out but according to everyone else around me, I looked ill. I guess a forty-ish *cough* woman shouldn't find a size 6 in Next too big for her but hey, that never lasted. I was soon back to my bouncy size 14. Trouble is, my lovely size 14 began to feel a bit tight and I know why this has happened. I'm a student see. A full-time student doing my PhD. Researching - for me - involves huge amounts of time sat on my (rather ample) bottom, at my PC, typing. I often do this from the moment I get home after the school run to the second I have to run out of the door again to do the pick-up. I'm at the point of almost falling over when I take my glasses off as I've been focusing for so long and everything goes just that bit blurry when I finally put them back in their case. Bit like a few drinks but without the giggles to go with it.
Student life is therefore useless for my weight. So, despite having nearly 2 months left of Slimming World, I've not weighed myself for the past 2 weeks and today was another week the email popped up and I just resigned it to the trash. Instead, I'm cutting down on portion sizes and keeping away from the biscuit packet or bar of Galaxy in the evening and eating a yoghurt or some oranges instead. Do you know what? My jeans are starting to feel less tight again already! Hooray. My wobbly bits are still there but so what, I'm a mum of 3 so I'm entitled to have wobbly bits which I shall wear with pride (I decided that recently) as I had 2 of those 3 in my 40s. Go me!
I'm beginning to realise I'm not going to be a 'thin' woman now. Hell, I never was as a teenager either. I had boobs, waist and bum. That's me. I am happy to be a size 12/14 and stay right there (also for financial reasons as most of my wardrobe is that size!). I just want to feel a little more toned and less lumpy so watch this space!